Welcome 2012

The coming of a new year always brings with it time for reflection.  2012 is no different.  Once the Christmas decorations were down, the last of the cookies were eaten, and Morgan and her family had headed back to Louisiana, I had some time to look back at 2011, and to plan for 2012. 

2011 was certainly a memorable year, and one that I was not sad to see go.  Watching my sister worry as her husband suffered a heart attack, and then grieving with her as she faced the tragic death of her son was heartwrenching.  My family came together to support my sister and nieces as we all felt the devastation, sadness, and some guilt over Steve's death.  My sister and I both have a strong faith, and it has carried us through many trying times throughout our lives.  We both believe that in the midst of struggles, there are always lessons to be learned.  I learned the importance of being there for friends when they are suffering.  I have made more of an effort to send cards and visit, even when it might not be convenient.  We were so touched by the acts of kindness shown to us during the weeks following Steve's death; it is important to show that same kindness when others are grieving. 

There were some great things about 2011 as well.  I had a successful surgery in February, and was able to run a half marathon 12 weeks later.  I became a grandmother.  I learned that becoming a grandmother is pretty awesome!  I had my first children's book published, and published a book about running through Amazon Kindle.  Publishing Dear Daddy also taught me many, many lessons about the publishing business.  Unfortunately, those lessons were learned the hard way!  We were blessed to have all of Gary's family here for Thanksgiving, and all of my family here for Christmas.  And I went ziplining with my sister, cousin, and two of my daughters.  Check that off the bucket list!

I don't really make resolutions for a new year.  I am always reflecting on where I am in life, and where I want to be.  Like most people I know, I always have to get back on track with diet and exercise after the new year.  After a month of devouring cookies and cakes, it is time to scale back and to run more.  I try to set some goals for the year.  I hope to republish Dear Daddy this year.  I want to find a more traditional publisher (like I said, I learned some lessons the hard way!).  I want to get another children's book published.  I am going to begin a new project about the aging.   I plan to run a half marathon this spring and fall.  I want to continue to go to Zumba classes, and to encourage others to begin an exercise plan.  I would say that I want to eat better, but that just doesn't happen with me.  I just don't like vegetables, and fruit (except the occasional banana) does nothing for me.  I want to focus on the positive, and eliminate negative people from my life.  Unless, of course, I can help them become more positive!  I will embrace my friends and make them feel valued.  I will cherish my family and always tell them I love them.  I will enjoy the year with my husband, running, browsing for antiques, and visiting our kids and grandkids.

One goal that I have is to be present in the moment.  I sometimes feel that we are always looking forward to something, and forget to enjoy the moment we are in.  This is also true when we are with others.  I have worked really hard the past few years to become a better listener.  After reading something about listening, I realized that rather than listening to someone, I was often busy planning my response.  Now I try to truly listen, and have finally realized that just because someone wants to share something with me, doesn't mean that he or she wants my opinion on the matter.  We often want to share our own experiences or we share that we know someone who faced the same or a similar situation.  People don't want to hear that.  They want me to listen to their situation and to be present while listening.  I am pretty full of opinions, so this took a lot of work for me!

I am looking forward to this new year.  I am excited about upcoming projects, and that Morgan will be moving to Kansas this summer.  She will be much closer to home, which means I will be able to see Layne more.  I am ready to get back into a running routine.  I always slack off in November and December, and then get back into it in January.  Jackie and I ran this morning to start our 2012 running season.  The windchill was 15 degrees and the wind was wicked!  I don't mind the cold, but the wind pushed against us as we trudged down the street.  I love the challenge of winter runs, but I wasn't prepared to start today - especially since it was in the upper 40s when we ran two days ago!

What are your goals and dreams for 2012?  For me, having goals makes my life so much more interesting.  I might not meet all that I have set, but I am not afraid to try.  Sometimes trying is an accomplishment in itself!

Happy 2012 - Make it count!!

Are You Really Going to Run in this Heat?

Although it is awfully difficult to get out the door when there are heat advisories out, I usually know that I won't regret at least getting a few miles in.  This week the heat is just miserable.  Jackie and I ran Saturday morning.  We didn't run as far as we would have liked, but it was so humid that breathing was work.  We ran 4.2 miles, and walked a mile.  We are on our feet for over 5 miles, which was good enough for us.

Sunday evening, Gary and I had friends over for seafood.  He was thrilled to be able to cook some new recipes (which were really quite impressive), and to have people here who would appreciate his efforts.  The girls and I are extremely picky, and rarely try new foods.  As we always do when having guests, we made too much.  I can never make just one dessert; there has to be a choice.  We also wanted to have a nice selection of sides, so we had plenty of food to last a couple of days.  And we have been overeating.  A lot.  I needed to get out and exercise!

I had science training in Evansville Monday and Tuesday.  Because I slept very little Sunday night, I was exhausted by the time I got home Monday.  I knew that I should get out and do something, but instead I only ventured away from the couch when I needed more cake, or had to go to the bathroom.  I felt like a stuffed toad.

After training on Tuesday, I was determined to exercise.  It was so hot, and I had just about talked myself into just running a couple miles on the treadmill, and doing TurboJam.  I hate the treadmill.  Gary had to go into town to run some errands, so I decided to just ride in with him, and try to run at the track.  That way I could keep a large bottle of water there, and I didn't have to worry about getting back to the track should the heat overtake my body.  Since my only objective was exercise and burning off some of the cake I had consumed, I alternated between running and walking so that my body could 'cool' off ocassionally.  I ran a mile, walked a lap, ran a mile, walked two laps, ran another mile.  It really worked out well.  I was hot and sweaty, but I wasn't miserable.  I really felt great when Gary came to pick me up.

Once home, I knew that I also needed some strength and ab work.  Gary bought me a kettle ball over the weekend.  In my quest to get Michelle Obama arms, I thought that this apparatus might be helpful.  It is a 12-pound kettle, which I thought was good for me.  Addison let me know that it was really light.  Not for me.  I am pretty weak, and 12 pounds is just fine.  So I did some exercises with that, and then did my trusty weighted hoola hoop to work on abs.  I like using the hoola hoop because I can watch TV while swiveling, so I don't get bored. 

My friends Kassi, Tracey, and I went to a Zumba class last week, and we plan to go back.  It is really a fun way to burn some calories.  What I really enjoy is that it doesn't matter if I don't know what I am doing; everyone is so worried about learning the moves that no one really even looks around.  Though I love running, it is also nice to have an alternative.  This morning the Today Show had a piece on Zumba Gold, which is for people over 50.  There were seniors in their 80s and 90s doing Zumba!  It was great.  They looked like they were having so much fun, kind of reliving their younger years when they danced the weekends away.  I want to be 90 and doing Zumba - well, not right now, but eventually!

My goal for the remainder of the summer is to just stay in shape.  I don't intend to improve my speed or endurance; it is just too hot for that.  As of today, I don't plan to run any races, including Schweizer Fest.  I could change my mind, but it just isn't much fun when the heat is so unbearable.  I am glad that I have some options for exercise.  I can attempt the great outdoors if I feel so inclined, or I can do Zumba, use our equipment, or use my TurboJam, Yoga, or Brazil Butt Lift DVD.  Yup, you read that last one right.  I bought that a year ago, but haven't really done it (obviously); I found it to be a little too hard. I haven't given it away yet because I would still like to be able to do at least part of the workouts.  Those darned infomercials!

Stay cool, Friends!  In no time we will be complaining because it is so cold!

A New - Uninvited - Reason to Train

If you are not comfortable reading about 'girly' medical issues, click the 'back' button now! 

As I had previously posted, since running my first half marathon, I have been somewhat of a slacker, but was beginning to get back into my groove. I love cold-weather running; the winter temperatures are refreshing. Yes, I get chilled when finishing a run because of the layer of sweat in combination with the cold air, but there is nothing like a nice hot shower to warm up! I have been determined to build back up my mileage as well as my speed. God had a different plan for me!


I went to see a doctor last week, and will be scheduled for a hysterectomy. It seems that giving birth to three children, and middle age, is causing my uterus to drop. A lot. My family doctor had told me that it had dropped substantially in the past year, and shortly after I began to experience some pretty uncomfortable pressure. Frankly, I felt like my insides were falling out! She referred me to a gyno. Because my mother had had a hysterectomy at the age of 41, this really came as no surprise. The first day of my Christmas break, my sister and mother accompanied me to my appointment.

After the exam, the doctor told me my options, and the one that made the most sense and would have the most permanent results was a hysterectomy. (another option was to be fitted for a 'device' that is worn inside and holds things in place - gross!!!!) Of course, one of my first questions was how long I would not be able to run. Her answer: 6 weeks. I can't even walk for exercise for 4 weeks! Immediately I had visions of being at home alone for over a month, and spending my time grazing in the kitchen. I had already gained about 5 pounds in the past couple of months, so the thought of gaining even more sickened me. It took some time for me to process everything. I have never had surgery, a broken bone, or been hospitalized except for when I had my daughters. This would not be fun!

I came home, and I began to read. I found a downloadable book - something like 'Have a Happy Hysterectomy'! Is that really possible? They are taking an organ out of me! Though the title is hokie, I did find some useful information. The most useful for me was that I needed to be in the best possible physical shape before surgery because that will enable me to have an easier recovery. That actually went against what I was thinking, which went something like this...well, why run now? I am not going to be able to run for 6 weeks, and will practically have to start all over anyway, so I might as well just sit on my butt until surgery. After reading about how to make this a 'happy' experience, I decided I needed to rethink my tactics. I want to heal fast, and I want to heal completely. I am going to do everything I can to make this happen.

I do not yet know the date for surgery. Because I run, my doctor wants me to have a test on my bladder so that if I need any repair work, it can be done at the same time. She said that it didn't appear that I would need it, but this test would give her a better look. As for the test, it sounds humiliating. I won't go into detail, but somehow they are going to try out different scenarios to see if I leak urine. Yikes! What if I do? Once this test is completed, the date for surgery will be set.

And so I begin to train - for my hysterectomy! It was about 19 degrees this morning, but I got out and ran 4 miles. Tomorrow morning will be just as cold, but I am going to meet my niece for a run. I have told my running buddies that I want them to make me run with them. No whining! My daughter got me a Tervis Tumbler for Christmas that has '13.1' on one side and 'Mom' on the other (in honor of my completing my first half marathon in October). I will take that to the hospital so that when I am feeling weak, I can drink from my cup and know that I am strong! I am a runner.

My husband is going to be training for an April 30 marathon. I would like to be able to run the half marathon that day, but it will all depend upon when my surgery takes place. Somehow training for surgery doesn't seem as fun as training for a big race, but I bet the results will be just as satisfying!

Of course, once the decision for surgery was made, I wanted it done - now! It would be much more convenient to get this taken care of in the winter. If my life is going to be put on hold for 6 weeks, I prefer that it be when the weather is crappy and staying indoors isn't such a sacrifice. I am, however, at their mercy. This gives me time to get into better shape, and to prepare my third graders for a long-term sub. I must say, leaving my students is much the same as leaving my children with a babysitter. No matter how good and how reliable, she isn't me. I know my students and their needs; I know who needs extra hugs, and who needs to be reminded to complete their work. I love them. I also want to get my house ready. I need to have a big stack of books to read, and plenty of yarn so that I can crochet. And I will have my computer nearby. All junk food will be removed before surgery and low-cal snacks will be hauled in by the truckload (I guess that low-cal serves no purpose if I devour them by the box!). Thank goodness that I have a super husband. I know that he will be there every step of the way.

As I train for this unwanted, but necessary, challenge, I will work hard. I wll train as if I am training for a half marathon. I will remain positive, in spite of the discomfort that I know I will experience. I will rely upon educating myself, my family, and proper preparation/training. I will run again! And, friends, I will never have to look at the calendar to see if I will be on my period at race time! Or if I will start in the middle of vacation. Ahhh...there's the up side!

One Week From Today...

It's a gorgeous day today: temps in the low 60s and sunny.  The best part is that I am at home!  After an incredibly busy week, I was determined to stay home, and to do what I wanted, which thus far has included staying in bed until 10:15, watching a worthless Lifetime movie, eating Grippos chips and monster cookies leftover from a band party last night, straightening up from said party, and working on laundry.  I do have a rather large stack of papers that need to be graded, and I vow to get to that, but first I needed to write.  Since school started I haven't had much time to update my blog.  Between work, running, band obligations, and Thirty-One parties, spare time is at a minimum.  Life should slow down a bit in November - oh, wait - then holiday preparations begin, so maybe it will be January before things slow down. 

One week from today is the Evansville Half Marathon.  I, along with Gary and several friends, am running it.  A half marathon is 13.1 miles.  That's a long way to run.  Jackie and I have run 13.1 miles, so we know that we can complete the mileage - in Tell City, on our familiar routes, without 3000 other runners, and without the pressure of having to finish.  Can we run it in a race?  We are not concerned with placing (that would be crazy), we just want to finish in a respectable time, without walking, puking, or injuring ourselves.  We have trained adequately according to all of the literature, but one just never knows what kind of day it will be.  My stomach is my main concern (Thanks, Mom, for giving me your unpredictable stomach!).  I know what to eat, but my stomach is the first to go when I am nervous, and I certainly don't want to spend time in a porta-potty!  The most nerve-racking part will be the drive to Evansville - at 4:30 in the morning - and just waiting for the gun to go off.  Once we are about a mile into it, I will relax and get into a groove.  Jackie and I plan to stick together; we have spent countless hours pounding the pavement together, so we want to complete this journey together (and neither of us wants to spend two hours and twenty minutes running alone - we like to chat).  Our other running partner, Jennifer, will be much faster than the two of us, so we are counting on her to be doing cartwheels at the finish line as we cross!  I have often read that visualizing a goal does wonders for achieving that goal, so I have been visualizing Jackie and I crossing that finish line, and I have a spot reserved on my car for a 13.1 sticker.  There was a time, not too long ago, that running a half marathon was not even a consideration.  Now it's actually a possibility.  I can't wait to join other runners as I reach this life-goal. 

Last weekend, Gary, my sister Bobbi, and I ran the Susan Komen Race for the Cure.  If you ever have an opportunity to participate in this event, take it.  It is an awe-inspiring morning.  It is not about running fast; it is about supporting an important cause.  Both years that we have run, the weather has been perfect.  My favorite shirts of the day:  "Save 2nd Base" (get it??) and "Just for Tits and Giggles". 

There were 14,000 people registered for the Race for the Cure!  The majority were walkers.  I decided to run with my sister, and I am so glad that I did.  She hadn't been running much, but ran 3.1 miles that morning without stopping.  I was so impressed!  The second half of the race we were also with Gary.  That was the first race that he and I crossed the finish line together.  I am so proud that he continues to challenge himself.  I believe that he has inspired a lot of people who have seen him out running.  Most know that he has an artificial knee, and that running isn't easy for him.  What a testament to the power of desire and dedication! 

If you are awake at 7:00 am next Sunday, say a little prayer for me.  I will be shaking in my Asics!  I will most certainly be writing about my experience, and who knows, maybe next year some of you will join us!  I want to wish Jackie, Jennifer, Kim, and Jennifer C good luck in the race!!  Kim, we know you will kick butt - make us proud!!

To Be or Not To Be

Running often provokes many struggles, both physical and mental. Most runners are plagued with an injury at some point in their careers; my first came in the form of hip pain last fall. Many of us struggle with finding time away from our families to work in our runs, and all the while wonder if we are being selfish (we are not). Some of us struggle with deciding if running is really worth the time and effort, or if we should just continue with our leisurely walks. My struggle this week involves racing - and I do use that term very loosely as I am by no means good enough to be competitive with anyone but myself.



I sometimes picture myself with an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. The demon, wearing his flip flops and holding a piece of chocolate cake in his hand, is shouting, "Just go home, watch America's Got Talent, and eat a package of Oreos! You are 43 - too old to pick up running. You couldn't even run as a child! " The angel, wearing her little white Asics and a sweatband, is saying, in her oh-so-gentle voice, "Keep on moving! You can do this! Just look how far you have come!" Fortunately, the angel usually wins that battle. This week the two are trying to sway my decision on an upcoming race. Our small community celebrates its birthday with a week-long festival, the Schweizer Fest. It is the time of year that friends and family return home, high school alumni host their reunions, and the annual road run is held. The road run consists of a 2-mile run and a 6-mile run, and last year boasted 500 runners. As a really new runner last year, I ran the 2-mile. Given the Southern Indiana heat and humidity, that was long enough! Since that time, I have planned to run the 6-mile this year. That race involves a steep mile-long incline at about mile 3.


I have been running that hill for over a year, and I have yet to feel that it is not difficult. I want to kiss the ground every time I reach the top. My running buddies and I have been running the course - in the evening - every week this summer in preparation for the race. In the evening...when I am wide awake, hydrated, well-fed, and ready to run. On the weekends, I run in the morning, which generally works well. Not so this summer. Even running early does not help my body adjust to the humidity. Back in the spring, I was able to run 10 miles; this summer, my furthest run has been 7 miles. This past weekend, I went out with a positive attitude ready to run at least 6 miles, but I had hoped to go further. I felt good, it was a pretty morning, and I had nothing on my agenda that would require me to hurry up and get home. I was so ready. Then I started to run, and it was hard. I ran slowly, and once I hit 3 miles, I had to walk. That little devil started in, "And you think you can run the 6-mile? Ha! You couldn't even run 6 on a flat course!" The angel was not around that morning. My guess is she slept in! I ran another mile, at a pace 2 minutes slower than usual - I was crawling. I was beginning to question my ability to run. What was happening? It was hot, but not really unbearable. Another walk break...another mile at tortoise pace...disappointment. During that run, I decided, with the help of the evil one, that I would not be signing up for the 6-mile race. I was not going to do it if I had to walk, and apparently that would be the case. I tried to analyze the reason behind my lack of energy: is it just more difficult to put the miles in in the morning because I am fresh out of bed, my muscles are not quite awake, I haven't eaten, and I haven't really drank anything? I have run in the mornings a lot over the past year, but this heat seems to make it much more difficult, if not impossible.


After I returned home from that dreadful outing, and told my husband of my decision. He didn't see my logic. He thinks that I should just get out there and run it; if I have to walk or run at a slower pace, who cares? Jackie, one of my running buddies who has trained for this race with me, had the same sentiment. 'Why can't we just run it for fun and fitness?" she said. That evening, Jackie was going to be running. I rarely run twice in one day, but I had to prove to myself that I could do it. So I went out and ran 4 miles with her, and we ran it at a good pace. I felt great - totally different from just 12 hours earlier. Last night a group of us went out to run the 6-mile course. I ran it, and I ran it well. Our goal is to run it in under an hour. I ran it in 56:39. I want to run that race. I want to run it well. I just know that if I have to walk, knowing that I should be able to run the whole course, I will be angry. When people say to just run it for fun, I am thinking what fun is it to run a horrible race? What fun is it to run slower than I am capable of IN A RACE???


Jackie and I are going to run the course again Saturday at 8:00 am. That is exactly 2 weeks before the actual race. That run will likely determine if I sign up. Which one will win: the little devil or my encouraging little angel? Then I have yet another decision to make: to run a half marathon or not. It is on my bucket list, and there is one in October that is just an hour away. My friend, Jennifer, is running it, so I would have someone to train with. I was really going back and forth on this, and then my husband, yes, the one with the artificial knee, comes home with a half marathon training plan that HE plans to do! If he plans to run it, what excuse could I possibly come up with to not run it?! As if that isn't enough, Traxee has issued a challenge for us women to set a fall goal, and to support one another in meeting those goals. I think my little angel has been busy aligning the stars.


As of this moment, no official decisions have been made. My little angel is working hard by putting the right people in front of me. I do know that I make most important decisions by asking myself what I would be most likely to regret. Would I regret not running the 6-mile race? (yeh, I know the answer). Would I regret not attempting to run a half marathon with my husband? (I know that answer, too).


Note: I added this picture from a New Year's Day run to remind everyone that someday this sickening heat will end!

Busy Summer

I can't believe that it has been a week since I have blogged! So much has happened, and not all of it is good. Last week my middle daughter accidentally backed over one of our dogs. I honestly didn't think the dog, Gracie, would live. She stayed at the vet's for a week, and we brought her home Monday. Her back legs are paralyzed, but the vet is not certain that it is permanent. I must say, it certainly seems to be. She has no movement in them at all. We carry her outside, but then she can pull herself around with her front paws. It is very sad to watch.

My oldest daughter lost her job, just two weeks after purchasing her car (that I co-signed for). The company she worked for has a reputation for firing; their turn-around rate is quite high. Morgan wants to move to Nashville, so this might just be the motivation she needs to get moving.

Exercise...it's still going well. There was a point about a week or two ago that I just wanted to quit running. It wasn't getting any easier, and I was tired (it doesn't help that it is still early in the summer, and it is in the 90s already!). It has gotten much better. Sunday night I pushed it and ran 4 miles, and last night I ran 4 1/2 miles!! If someone had told me a year ago that I would be able to run that far, I would have never believed it. By gradually building up, I am able to go further. My husband has run 3 miles the last two times we went out. This Saturday is my first 5K run in Jasper, IN. I am nervous because I don't really run hills, and I know the course has some. I am just going to go up there and run. I don't intend to place, but I hope I don't get beat by an 80 year old man!

One thing about running that was bothering me was that I couldn't just relax and think about other things. I would dwell on every ache or on how much further I had to go. I am beginning to be able to just get into a pace and think about other things - but I do go back to thinking about how hard it is. I used to walk a lot, and I really enjoyed being able to just have the solitude to think. I hope that I get to that point with running.

Running isn't always fun

Despite my desire to stay in shape, I am finding it increasingly difficult to remain dedicated, especially to running. This morning I got up and went to town at 7:30 to run before Morgan and I played tennis. I have been running in the evening, so I wanted to see if I could run in the morning. I managed to run 2 miles (though I had been running 3 in the evening), but the whole time I just couldn't wait to be finished. After three months of running, I would have expected it to get easier, but it is still such an effort. I really enjoy biking, playing tennis, and doing the TurboJam workout, but I just don't like running. So, why am I doing it? What am I trying to prove?

I keep thinking that it will become easier if I just stick with it. When I finish a run, I feel exhilerated and proud that I have accomplished something. Right now, that's what is getting me through. It is also great for burning calories and building leg muscles. It's a great cardio workout. I know all of this, but as I run I am thinking I hate this. How healthy is that? Today as I ran I was thinking about stopping running, and just sticking with the other activities, but I know that I will try again. I still haven't mailed my entry for the 5K that is in 2 weeks; I just don't know if I can do it.

After running, Morgan and I decided that the courts were too wet for tennis, so we did TurboJam together. It is a dreary old day, so since that time I have dozed on and off, and finished some reading for my classes. Now I am supposed to be working on assignments, but am blogging instead.

I have started to keep a small journal of my exercise and what I eat for the day. Nothing much, I just purchased a small notebook from a dollar store, and make notes each day. I think that if I have to write down everything I eat, I will be more accountable.

That's it for today...homework is calling.