Friday, February 17, 2012
I am moving!
After some thought - and lots of problems with blogspot - I have decided to move my blog to a new site. Please find me at http://grandmaruns.wordpress.com/.
Friday, February 10, 2012
It's time!
Time for what? To get serious about getting back into shape. It pains me to even write that I need to get back into shape. Why the heck did I work so hard to get in decent shape, and then in a matter of a few short [holiday] months, I let all that hard work dissolve away...well, nothing dissolved exactly. I think things multiplied. I always get a bit lazy late in the year, and then I try to kick it in after the first of the year. I fully intended to do just that as I ushered in 2012, and then I got a sinus infection, and then my knee started hurting, and then I kept baking and eating. Before I knew it, that nasty little scale was creeping back up to where I began in 2009. Crap.
When one is a very short five feet tall, it doesn't take much added weight to cause the clothes to tighten up. I find myself choosing my work clothes according to what fits. My coworkers might think I love to really dress up for school because I often wear dresses and skirts, but my little secret is that they are just more comfortable because they are looser. Heck, even my elastic waist running shorts are getting snug. Finally, this week I had had enough. I was a total grouch because I was angry at myself for my lack of self-control (my husband will attest to the grouchy part). I love to bake, and I love to eat sweets. Willpower is not a character trait that applies to me. I hate almost every single vegetable. And yes, I have heard all my life that I just haven't had anyone fix them right. That's BS. I don't like them. Period. I will eat corn, an occasional salad, raw carrots, and...well, that's it. I like meat, potatoes, pasta, and desserts. Why is it that everything that is delicious is bad for us? It is like some cruel joke. Oh, this is so scrumptious, but if you take a bite, you will get diabetes, cancer, high cholesterol, OBESE! Here, try some broccoli instead.
So, what am I to do? I am cutting back on junk food. My biggest sacrifice this week? I gave away my Girl Scout cookies. All six boxes. Okay, five and a half. I ate one sleeve of Thin Mints first (I'm trying!). I had to order them; two of my favorite chicks, Maddie and Ava, were selling them. How could I say no to a Girl Scout? That would be unAmerican. Of course, as my luck would have it, the day after my little woe is me meltdown, the cookies arrived. I decided right then I could not have them around me. Who can't devour an entire sleeve in one setting? Caramel Delites? Give me a box of those with a glass of milk and I am one happy gal.
After ridding myself of those sinful little cookies, it was time to take the next step. Gary and I registered for the Derby Mini Marathon that takes place in April. We have talked about it for months, and this week the entry fee was going to go up, so we did it. Having an upcoming race is great incentive to not only improve my eating habits, but also to stay consistent with running and cross-training. Since this is the race I ran last year 12 weeks after surgery, and I had a great race, there is the added pressure to run even [a little bit] better this year. I am ready to get serious. I pray my knee allows me to train properly. I went back to Zumba this week after taking several weeks off, and plan to go once a week to add variety to my training, besides, it is a blast!
Another bit of incentive to maintain my running routine is that Morgan has begun running. Our girls have watched us run races, and have seen the hard work we have put in to increase our mileage, but have not been interested in joining us - despite our efforts to recruit them. Last fall, Tamara began running, and, along with her brother Bryce and his girlfriend Krista, ran two miles with us Thanksgiving morning. Now Morgan is running, and this week hit the one-mile-without-stopping mark! That is a huge accomplishment in running, and once a runner gets to one mile, adding mileage is a little easier. I must add that Morgan is also pushing a stroller while running, which has to make it much more difficult. I cannot even imagine. I am really proud of Tamara and Morgan, and can't wait until they both get to the point where they really enjoy the run. Our annual Thanksgiving Morning Run might just keep growing! So, after encouraging our family to run, how can I be a slacker?
My next goal is to try out some Splenda in some of my favorite recipes to see if I can still bake while cutting back calories. That'll be great fun, I'm sure. I am going to give up candy for Lent, which is what I usually give up. That might seem easy for most adults, but I love candy. It isn't my child who whines for a candy bar in the checkout line; it's me! If you see me at Walmart, and you witness my hand reaching for the chocolate, please just smack it. Really. Crazier things happen at that place, and I won't sue you. Promise.
Now step away from the computer and grab some broccoli. It's good for you. Gross, but good for you.
When one is a very short five feet tall, it doesn't take much added weight to cause the clothes to tighten up. I find myself choosing my work clothes according to what fits. My coworkers might think I love to really dress up for school because I often wear dresses and skirts, but my little secret is that they are just more comfortable because they are looser. Heck, even my elastic waist running shorts are getting snug. Finally, this week I had had enough. I was a total grouch because I was angry at myself for my lack of self-control (my husband will attest to the grouchy part). I love to bake, and I love to eat sweets. Willpower is not a character trait that applies to me. I hate almost every single vegetable. And yes, I have heard all my life that I just haven't had anyone fix them right. That's BS. I don't like them. Period. I will eat corn, an occasional salad, raw carrots, and...well, that's it. I like meat, potatoes, pasta, and desserts. Why is it that everything that is delicious is bad for us? It is like some cruel joke. Oh, this is so scrumptious, but if you take a bite, you will get diabetes, cancer, high cholesterol, OBESE! Here, try some broccoli instead.
So, what am I to do? I am cutting back on junk food. My biggest sacrifice this week? I gave away my Girl Scout cookies. All six boxes. Okay, five and a half. I ate one sleeve of Thin Mints first (I'm trying!). I had to order them; two of my favorite chicks, Maddie and Ava, were selling them. How could I say no to a Girl Scout? That would be unAmerican. Of course, as my luck would have it, the day after my little woe is me meltdown, the cookies arrived. I decided right then I could not have them around me. Who can't devour an entire sleeve in one setting? Caramel Delites? Give me a box of those with a glass of milk and I am one happy gal.
After ridding myself of those sinful little cookies, it was time to take the next step. Gary and I registered for the Derby Mini Marathon that takes place in April. We have talked about it for months, and this week the entry fee was going to go up, so we did it. Having an upcoming race is great incentive to not only improve my eating habits, but also to stay consistent with running and cross-training. Since this is the race I ran last year 12 weeks after surgery, and I had a great race, there is the added pressure to run even [a little bit] better this year. I am ready to get serious. I pray my knee allows me to train properly. I went back to Zumba this week after taking several weeks off, and plan to go once a week to add variety to my training, besides, it is a blast!
Another bit of incentive to maintain my running routine is that Morgan has begun running. Our girls have watched us run races, and have seen the hard work we have put in to increase our mileage, but have not been interested in joining us - despite our efforts to recruit them. Last fall, Tamara began running, and, along with her brother Bryce and his girlfriend Krista, ran two miles with us Thanksgiving morning. Now Morgan is running, and this week hit the one-mile-without-stopping mark! That is a huge accomplishment in running, and once a runner gets to one mile, adding mileage is a little easier. I must add that Morgan is also pushing a stroller while running, which has to make it much more difficult. I cannot even imagine. I am really proud of Tamara and Morgan, and can't wait until they both get to the point where they really enjoy the run. Our annual Thanksgiving Morning Run might just keep growing! So, after encouraging our family to run, how can I be a slacker?
My next goal is to try out some Splenda in some of my favorite recipes to see if I can still bake while cutting back calories. That'll be great fun, I'm sure. I am going to give up candy for Lent, which is what I usually give up. That might seem easy for most adults, but I love candy. It isn't my child who whines for a candy bar in the checkout line; it's me! If you see me at Walmart, and you witness my hand reaching for the chocolate, please just smack it. Really. Crazier things happen at that place, and I won't sue you. Promise.
Now step away from the computer and grab some broccoli. It's good for you. Gross, but good for you.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Think what you want...
People have many opinions about psychics; there really doesn't seem to be an in-between view. Either we believe or we don't. I believe that there are a lot of fakes out there who take advantage of our weaknesses, but I also believe that there are those who have a gift to see or hear that which the rest of us cannot. Several years ago one of my friends and I became very intrigued by John Edward. I would watch his show, wondering if it would be possible to connect with my father.
I have several friends who have been to psychics, and most have had positive experiences. Last week I had the opportunity to meet with Rick Hayes, a psychic medium from Jasper. My goal was to connnect with my father, and possibly with my nephew. I was very open to the experience, as I have always believed that my father is still present in my life. I was not nervous or frightened in the least. Rick immediately made me feel comfortable, and my session with him was very comforting.
The moment I sat down, he began to talk about my grandmother, and then my father. I was careful to not lead his observations. I have to say, most of the information he gave me he could not have researched or even guessed. The best example is rather strange. We were talking about my nephew, and Rick said that he kept hearing the word 'butter'. He said it made no sense; he had no idea why he kept getting that word from Stephen. I knew. The previous night, Gary, Addison, and I were sitting in the living room, and Addison randomly started a conversation about...butter! She said that when she just thinks about butter by itself, it is really nasty, but it is so good on things. Gary teased her saying, "Yeah, Add, I just sit around thinking about butter!" I reminded her how she used to take butter packets from McDonalds when she was a toddler. We literally had a whole conversation about butter. I discussed it with no one else, so when Rick brought up butter, I was convinced that he was the real deal. He said that that was Stephen's way of letting me know he was around. I could just hear Stephen giving us a hard time about talking about something as mundane as butter!
Rick also brought up the fact that I had had a wreck, and that I really damaged the vehicle. I totaled my step-dad's truck when I was 16. My friends who were there didn't even know about that. He told me that Dad wanted me to know that I wasn't lucky, I was protected. He also described some things in my house that were right on, like the messy counter, the scented candles that I burn, and the shoes that aren't put away. He said that was dad's way of letting me know that he was present in our daily lives.
One of the most meaningful observations Rick made concerned Addison. She is very musical, and spends a great deal of her time teaching herself to play the piano. Coming from a musical family, I appreciate her diligence and patience. Because my father was a musician, I always felt that she had his talent. Rick said that my dad is helping her learn the piano. He said Dad guides her hands, and that she can truly hear the tunes and process them because he helps her. Addison has several pieces of music that my dad wrote, and Rick said there is one piece with my dad's handwriting on it that my dad wants her to learn. I have that piece. Addison thought it was pretty neat that her grandfather, whom she has never met, is like her musical angel.
My session was 55 minutes, and I recorded it. There is much more that he said, but those are the highlights. I found the meeting very peaceful. My friend Kim thought I would be an emotional wreck (I am pretty emotional, so I thought I would be, too), but I told her that I just found so much peace in knowing that though our loved ones move on, they are still present in our lives. I cannot wait to go back.
I told my mother about my experience, and she gave me the expected skeptical responses, but as I continued to share what I had learned, she began to ask more about what he said. I believe that God gives all of us gifts, and the He gives some the gift of seeing and hearing those who have moved on so that they can bring comfort to the grieving. I have a very strong faith, and if anything, meeting with Rick just increased that faith.
So think what you want; I choose to believe that I was able to connect. That makes me happy!
I have several friends who have been to psychics, and most have had positive experiences. Last week I had the opportunity to meet with Rick Hayes, a psychic medium from Jasper. My goal was to connnect with my father, and possibly with my nephew. I was very open to the experience, as I have always believed that my father is still present in my life. I was not nervous or frightened in the least. Rick immediately made me feel comfortable, and my session with him was very comforting.
The moment I sat down, he began to talk about my grandmother, and then my father. I was careful to not lead his observations. I have to say, most of the information he gave me he could not have researched or even guessed. The best example is rather strange. We were talking about my nephew, and Rick said that he kept hearing the word 'butter'. He said it made no sense; he had no idea why he kept getting that word from Stephen. I knew. The previous night, Gary, Addison, and I were sitting in the living room, and Addison randomly started a conversation about...butter! She said that when she just thinks about butter by itself, it is really nasty, but it is so good on things. Gary teased her saying, "Yeah, Add, I just sit around thinking about butter!" I reminded her how she used to take butter packets from McDonalds when she was a toddler. We literally had a whole conversation about butter. I discussed it with no one else, so when Rick brought up butter, I was convinced that he was the real deal. He said that that was Stephen's way of letting me know he was around. I could just hear Stephen giving us a hard time about talking about something as mundane as butter!
Rick also brought up the fact that I had had a wreck, and that I really damaged the vehicle. I totaled my step-dad's truck when I was 16. My friends who were there didn't even know about that. He told me that Dad wanted me to know that I wasn't lucky, I was protected. He also described some things in my house that were right on, like the messy counter, the scented candles that I burn, and the shoes that aren't put away. He said that was dad's way of letting me know that he was present in our daily lives.
One of the most meaningful observations Rick made concerned Addison. She is very musical, and spends a great deal of her time teaching herself to play the piano. Coming from a musical family, I appreciate her diligence and patience. Because my father was a musician, I always felt that she had his talent. Rick said that my dad is helping her learn the piano. He said Dad guides her hands, and that she can truly hear the tunes and process them because he helps her. Addison has several pieces of music that my dad wrote, and Rick said there is one piece with my dad's handwriting on it that my dad wants her to learn. I have that piece. Addison thought it was pretty neat that her grandfather, whom she has never met, is like her musical angel.
My session was 55 minutes, and I recorded it. There is much more that he said, but those are the highlights. I found the meeting very peaceful. My friend Kim thought I would be an emotional wreck (I am pretty emotional, so I thought I would be, too), but I told her that I just found so much peace in knowing that though our loved ones move on, they are still present in our lives. I cannot wait to go back.
I told my mother about my experience, and she gave me the expected skeptical responses, but as I continued to share what I had learned, she began to ask more about what he said. I believe that God gives all of us gifts, and the He gives some the gift of seeing and hearing those who have moved on so that they can bring comfort to the grieving. I have a very strong faith, and if anything, meeting with Rick just increased that faith.
So think what you want; I choose to believe that I was able to connect. That makes me happy!
Monday, January 16, 2012
On Living Life
Living life is a rather broad topic. Perhaps this post should more aptly be named 'On Living the Life You Desire'. No matter what our age, we all have an ideal of what our lives should be. It seems that these days, we always want more. When we meet one goal, we add another. When we meet one salary level, we want to reach higher.
We often hear that our value should not be based upon material possessions, and I whole-heartedly agree. However, it seems that when someone is telling me that money isn't what matters, that person is rich. Now one thing that annoys me is a rich person telling me not to worry about money. He or she has no idea what it is like to have to shuffle funds in order to pay bills, or to give up groceries for the week so that a child can go to the doctor. Even at my age, with a child in college, leftover medical bills from surgery, a child in braces, and the monthly bills, money can be pretty scarce. I realize that I am fortunate that I can meet my obligations, but we still sacrifice things we would like to do in order to pay the bills. I seriously doubt that Oprah and Suzy Orman sacrifice much.
That being said, I have no desire to be 'Oprah' rich, but I would love to have the funds to pay off some debt, make some changes to our house, and to travel. Would that make me any happier than I am now? Probably not, but it would be fun! I am working to be content with what we have. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to work hard, and to dream about travels to far away places, but I will also be grateful for my home, my job, and all that we are blessed with. I have enough.
I have noticed that young people today seem to want what their parents have worked for for years. My ex-husband and I started out in a little trailer we bought from his uncle, and then moved to a small house when we were expecting our first child. We lived in that small house through the births of our three daughters, all the time making improvements as we could afford them. After several years of three girls and one bathroom, we finally upgraded to a larger home. Having lived in a trailer and a small home, I truly appreciated the space and ammenities that came with our home. Now newly married couples seem to want the large family home as soon as they marry. What happened to working their way up?
Another change that I have noticed is that things that used to be reserved for the wealthy are now commonplace. When I began working as a hairdresser in 1987, and several years after, acrylic nails were only for the upperclass women. These days, women of all income brackets have artificial nails. I am not saying that this is a bad thing; it's just a change in society. What about Coach purses? Now, I have friends who own Coach, so I am not being critical. I just can't justify (nor can I afford) paying that much for a purse. Heck, I could purchase a piece of furniture or a full summer wardrobe for the price of one purse. Again, in years past these brand-name handbags were carried only by the rich; now women of all classes carry them. Some, whether they can afford them or not.
I like nice things as well as the next person, but I can say that I rarely buy anything that isn't on sale. I am an awesome bargain hunter. There are certain clothing brands I prefer, mostly because they have a full line of petites. When one is five feet tall and lacks curves, finding clothes that fit is a major coup. I just have to head straight to the clearance racks. I also don't mind paying a little more for high-quality clothing, but I won't pay high prices for poor quality. $45 for a thin t-shirt that happens to have 'Abercrombie' on it? No way. I think I have finally taught my girls that they need to look for quality rather than an impressive name-brand. I don't want them to get caught up in trying to impress their friends, especially when they cannot afford it.
I buy things because I like them and they make me feel good. I don't buy things simply to impress others. I don't care if my outfit is from the Loft or Target. If it's cute, it's cute. If people want to judge me because I drive a Ford and shop at Target, so be it. I am comfortable in my own skin, and I don't need a stamp of approval from others.
One of my goals toward living the life I want to live is to get some bills paid off this year. I slowly whittled down my medical bills, and I hope to get the braces paid off. Unfortunately, the college bills are just going to keep coming. My dream is to make money through writing that can be put toward bills. At this point in my life, I don't want to stress over money. I have over-spent in the past (buying things I really couldn't afford), and it just isn't worth the stress that comes later.
What life do you want to live? One that includes massive credit card bills from buying over-priced merchandise? Or one that offers freedom from financial stress because you made smart choices? It isn't easy to make the right decisions. I know. I have many friends who make a lot more money than we do, and sometimes I just want to be able to buy the same things or go the same places. We can't. And that's okay. We have a great life, and we have enough. Do you?
We often hear that our value should not be based upon material possessions, and I whole-heartedly agree. However, it seems that when someone is telling me that money isn't what matters, that person is rich. Now one thing that annoys me is a rich person telling me not to worry about money. He or she has no idea what it is like to have to shuffle funds in order to pay bills, or to give up groceries for the week so that a child can go to the doctor. Even at my age, with a child in college, leftover medical bills from surgery, a child in braces, and the monthly bills, money can be pretty scarce. I realize that I am fortunate that I can meet my obligations, but we still sacrifice things we would like to do in order to pay the bills. I seriously doubt that Oprah and Suzy Orman sacrifice much.
That being said, I have no desire to be 'Oprah' rich, but I would love to have the funds to pay off some debt, make some changes to our house, and to travel. Would that make me any happier than I am now? Probably not, but it would be fun! I am working to be content with what we have. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to work hard, and to dream about travels to far away places, but I will also be grateful for my home, my job, and all that we are blessed with. I have enough.
I have noticed that young people today seem to want what their parents have worked for for years. My ex-husband and I started out in a little trailer we bought from his uncle, and then moved to a small house when we were expecting our first child. We lived in that small house through the births of our three daughters, all the time making improvements as we could afford them. After several years of three girls and one bathroom, we finally upgraded to a larger home. Having lived in a trailer and a small home, I truly appreciated the space and ammenities that came with our home. Now newly married couples seem to want the large family home as soon as they marry. What happened to working their way up?
Another change that I have noticed is that things that used to be reserved for the wealthy are now commonplace. When I began working as a hairdresser in 1987, and several years after, acrylic nails were only for the upperclass women. These days, women of all income brackets have artificial nails. I am not saying that this is a bad thing; it's just a change in society. What about Coach purses? Now, I have friends who own Coach, so I am not being critical. I just can't justify (nor can I afford) paying that much for a purse. Heck, I could purchase a piece of furniture or a full summer wardrobe for the price of one purse. Again, in years past these brand-name handbags were carried only by the rich; now women of all classes carry them. Some, whether they can afford them or not.
I like nice things as well as the next person, but I can say that I rarely buy anything that isn't on sale. I am an awesome bargain hunter. There are certain clothing brands I prefer, mostly because they have a full line of petites. When one is five feet tall and lacks curves, finding clothes that fit is a major coup. I just have to head straight to the clearance racks. I also don't mind paying a little more for high-quality clothing, but I won't pay high prices for poor quality. $45 for a thin t-shirt that happens to have 'Abercrombie' on it? No way. I think I have finally taught my girls that they need to look for quality rather than an impressive name-brand. I don't want them to get caught up in trying to impress their friends, especially when they cannot afford it.
I buy things because I like them and they make me feel good. I don't buy things simply to impress others. I don't care if my outfit is from the Loft or Target. If it's cute, it's cute. If people want to judge me because I drive a Ford and shop at Target, so be it. I am comfortable in my own skin, and I don't need a stamp of approval from others.
One of my goals toward living the life I want to live is to get some bills paid off this year. I slowly whittled down my medical bills, and I hope to get the braces paid off. Unfortunately, the college bills are just going to keep coming. My dream is to make money through writing that can be put toward bills. At this point in my life, I don't want to stress over money. I have over-spent in the past (buying things I really couldn't afford), and it just isn't worth the stress that comes later.
What life do you want to live? One that includes massive credit card bills from buying over-priced merchandise? Or one that offers freedom from financial stress because you made smart choices? It isn't easy to make the right decisions. I know. I have many friends who make a lot more money than we do, and sometimes I just want to be able to buy the same things or go the same places. We can't. And that's okay. We have a great life, and we have enough. Do you?
Monday, January 2, 2012
Welcome 2012
The coming of a new year always brings with it time for reflection. 2012 is no different. Once the Christmas decorations were down, the last of the cookies were eaten, and Morgan and her family had headed back to Louisiana, I had some time to look back at 2011, and to plan for 2012.
2011 was certainly a memorable year, and one that I was not sad to see go. Watching my sister worry as her husband suffered a heart attack, and then grieving with her as she faced the tragic death of her son was heartwrenching. My family came together to support my sister and nieces as we all felt the devastation, sadness, and some guilt over Steve's death. My sister and I both have a strong faith, and it has carried us through many trying times throughout our lives. We both believe that in the midst of struggles, there are always lessons to be learned. I learned the importance of being there for friends when they are suffering. I have made more of an effort to send cards and visit, even when it might not be convenient. We were so touched by the acts of kindness shown to us during the weeks following Steve's death; it is important to show that same kindness when others are grieving.
There were some great things about 2011 as well. I had a successful surgery in February, and was able to run a half marathon 12 weeks later. I became a grandmother. I learned that becoming a grandmother is pretty awesome! I had my first children's book published, and published a book about running through Amazon Kindle. Publishing Dear Daddy also taught me many, many lessons about the publishing business. Unfortunately, those lessons were learned the hard way! We were blessed to have all of Gary's family here for Thanksgiving, and all of my family here for Christmas. And I went ziplining with my sister, cousin, and two of my daughters. Check that off the bucket list!
I don't really make resolutions for a new year. I am always reflecting on where I am in life, and where I want to be. Like most people I know, I always have to get back on track with diet and exercise after the new year. After a month of devouring cookies and cakes, it is time to scale back and to run more. I try to set some goals for the year. I hope to republish Dear Daddy this year. I want to find a more traditional publisher (like I said, I learned some lessons the hard way!). I want to get another children's book published. I am going to begin a new project about the aging. I plan to run a half marathon this spring and fall. I want to continue to go to Zumba classes, and to encourage others to begin an exercise plan. I would say that I want to eat better, but that just doesn't happen with me. I just don't like vegetables, and fruit (except the occasional banana) does nothing for me. I want to focus on the positive, and eliminate negative people from my life. Unless, of course, I can help them become more positive! I will embrace my friends and make them feel valued. I will cherish my family and always tell them I love them. I will enjoy the year with my husband, running, browsing for antiques, and visiting our kids and grandkids.
One goal that I have is to be present in the moment. I sometimes feel that we are always looking forward to something, and forget to enjoy the moment we are in. This is also true when we are with others. I have worked really hard the past few years to become a better listener. After reading something about listening, I realized that rather than listening to someone, I was often busy planning my response. Now I try to truly listen, and have finally realized that just because someone wants to share something with me, doesn't mean that he or she wants my opinion on the matter. We often want to share our own experiences or we share that we know someone who faced the same or a similar situation. People don't want to hear that. They want me to listen to their situation and to be present while listening. I am pretty full of opinions, so this took a lot of work for me!
I am looking forward to this new year. I am excited about upcoming projects, and that Morgan will be moving to Kansas this summer. She will be much closer to home, which means I will be able to see Layne more. I am ready to get back into a running routine. I always slack off in November and December, and then get back into it in January. Jackie and I ran this morning to start our 2012 running season. The windchill was 15 degrees and the wind was wicked! I don't mind the cold, but the wind pushed against us as we trudged down the street. I love the challenge of winter runs, but I wasn't prepared to start today - especially since it was in the upper 40s when we ran two days ago!
What are your goals and dreams for 2012? For me, having goals makes my life so much more interesting. I might not meet all that I have set, but I am not afraid to try. Sometimes trying is an accomplishment in itself!
Happy 2012 - Make it count!!
2011 was certainly a memorable year, and one that I was not sad to see go. Watching my sister worry as her husband suffered a heart attack, and then grieving with her as she faced the tragic death of her son was heartwrenching. My family came together to support my sister and nieces as we all felt the devastation, sadness, and some guilt over Steve's death. My sister and I both have a strong faith, and it has carried us through many trying times throughout our lives. We both believe that in the midst of struggles, there are always lessons to be learned. I learned the importance of being there for friends when they are suffering. I have made more of an effort to send cards and visit, even when it might not be convenient. We were so touched by the acts of kindness shown to us during the weeks following Steve's death; it is important to show that same kindness when others are grieving.
There were some great things about 2011 as well. I had a successful surgery in February, and was able to run a half marathon 12 weeks later. I became a grandmother. I learned that becoming a grandmother is pretty awesome! I had my first children's book published, and published a book about running through Amazon Kindle. Publishing Dear Daddy also taught me many, many lessons about the publishing business. Unfortunately, those lessons were learned the hard way! We were blessed to have all of Gary's family here for Thanksgiving, and all of my family here for Christmas. And I went ziplining with my sister, cousin, and two of my daughters. Check that off the bucket list!
I don't really make resolutions for a new year. I am always reflecting on where I am in life, and where I want to be. Like most people I know, I always have to get back on track with diet and exercise after the new year. After a month of devouring cookies and cakes, it is time to scale back and to run more. I try to set some goals for the year. I hope to republish Dear Daddy this year. I want to find a more traditional publisher (like I said, I learned some lessons the hard way!). I want to get another children's book published. I am going to begin a new project about the aging. I plan to run a half marathon this spring and fall. I want to continue to go to Zumba classes, and to encourage others to begin an exercise plan. I would say that I want to eat better, but that just doesn't happen with me. I just don't like vegetables, and fruit (except the occasional banana) does nothing for me. I want to focus on the positive, and eliminate negative people from my life. Unless, of course, I can help them become more positive! I will embrace my friends and make them feel valued. I will cherish my family and always tell them I love them. I will enjoy the year with my husband, running, browsing for antiques, and visiting our kids and grandkids.
One goal that I have is to be present in the moment. I sometimes feel that we are always looking forward to something, and forget to enjoy the moment we are in. This is also true when we are with others. I have worked really hard the past few years to become a better listener. After reading something about listening, I realized that rather than listening to someone, I was often busy planning my response. Now I try to truly listen, and have finally realized that just because someone wants to share something with me, doesn't mean that he or she wants my opinion on the matter. We often want to share our own experiences or we share that we know someone who faced the same or a similar situation. People don't want to hear that. They want me to listen to their situation and to be present while listening. I am pretty full of opinions, so this took a lot of work for me!
I am looking forward to this new year. I am excited about upcoming projects, and that Morgan will be moving to Kansas this summer. She will be much closer to home, which means I will be able to see Layne more. I am ready to get back into a running routine. I always slack off in November and December, and then get back into it in January. Jackie and I ran this morning to start our 2012 running season. The windchill was 15 degrees and the wind was wicked! I don't mind the cold, but the wind pushed against us as we trudged down the street. I love the challenge of winter runs, but I wasn't prepared to start today - especially since it was in the upper 40s when we ran two days ago!
What are your goals and dreams for 2012? For me, having goals makes my life so much more interesting. I might not meet all that I have set, but I am not afraid to try. Sometimes trying is an accomplishment in itself!
Happy 2012 - Make it count!!
Monday, December 5, 2011
A Love/Hate Relationship with Facebook
Facebook. Most of us use this form of social media; others choose to avoid getting involved. I avoided it for the first year of so because I was taking grad school courses online, and I felt that I spent more than enough time chatting with classmates online. Once I finished my degree, I decided to give it a try. Needless to say, I was quickly and unexpectedly reeled in.
At first it completely stressed me out. I would get friend requests and have to analyze them. Obviously, many were no brainers, but then there were those from people who never even acknowledged my existence, so I would have to wonder why they would suddenly want to be my friends. I decided that if someone cannot speak to me in public, I would ignore his or her request. I also had a friend who said to use the 'Walmart Rule'. If you would speak to someone at Walmart, you can be a friend. If you wouldn't speak to him or her, ignore it! That was solid FB advice in my book.
So, here I am, two years and a few hundred friends later, and Facebook still stresses me out on occasion. It can be such a wonderful and positive thing, but it can also be a source of frustration and anger. First, the positive. I am not from Tell City originally. I had many friends from Northern Indiana, specifically South Side Christian Church, with whom I had lost contact. Through Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with some of them, and it has been a complete joy. One woman, the mother of one of my childhood friends, posted some pictures of church activities, and those pictures included my sister, brother, and me. I was nearly in tears as I looked back at our years with our church family, and I realized that we had mattered. They kept pictures of us. Of course, I was also able to save some to my own computer so that I would have them to share with my children.
My family is literally spread out all over the United States We have been able to keep up with one another, and share in life's little ups and downs through Facebook. Because my father and his brothers all died young, I had lost track of three of my cousins. Once the Internet was available, I began searching for them. I knew that they had grown up in Florida, but was unable to find them. One day about five years ago, I searched again. I was able to locate their names, which led me to their mother's phone number, and once she believed I wasn't some psycho looking for her daughter, I was able to get my cousin's phone number. We met via telephone, and have maintained contact since. Once I joined Facebook, I was able to become friends with her and her brothers. I have gotten to know my cousins because of Facebook. I hope to have the opportunity to meet each of them face to face, but at least I have some contact with them. It has been amazing to read their posts, and to realize how much we have in common, despite not having grown up together.
I thoroughly enjoy seeing pictures of my friends' children, vacations, and adventures. I like the news updates from 14wfie, the positive quotes from Positively Positive, and the fitness advice from numerous running sites. I like the funny posts from some of my friends. I like that important information can be shared, and that when someone needs something, there is always someone willing to help. When my nephew died, the Facebook messages showed me that people cared about what we were going through. And who doesn't like the countless birthday wishes we receive?
So, what's not to like? A lot, actually. Over a year ago, there was a Facebook page that nearly tore our town apart. People can post anything, and others believe it to be gospel. I had seen so many lies posted, yet could say nothing. A couple of weeks ago, a parent posted about her now-grown daughter being bullied in high school. I knew that her child also bullied kids (I witnessed it), but because I taught my girls to handle their problems and did not call other parents, I could say nothing. Recently, a good friend of mine, who does not have Facebook, told me that she learned of some negative posts that referred to her, although no one used her name. It hurt her deeply because these people do not really know her. They base their opinions on comments and rumors they have heard. Is it right to post something about someone whom we don't even really know? Do people not realize that anything they post is out their for the world to see?
I am also bothered by parents who allude to problems their children are having with other kids. They don't mention names, but by simply posting, they are perpetuating the problem. They say they are tired of the drama, but when one posts on Facebook about being tired of the drama, he or she is just adding to the drama. If your child is having a problem, Lord knows they all do, talk with a friend; don't post to 500 friends. It just isn't the place for it.
My worst experience with Facebook was when a friend posted something extremely hateful about his ex-wife. The mother of his children. And he is friends on FB with his daughter, so she undoubtedly read the post. This was mean and uncalled for, and I immediately deleted him. I would never criticize my ex-husband, his family, my step-children's mother, or anyone else on Facebook. How can that be justified? It would just hurt someone I love. It isn't right. I have read posts from step-parents who constantly proclaim their love for their step-children (which I don't doubt), yet they then go on to publicly degrade the children's other parent. If you love a child, you do not criticize his or her parent on a social networking site. Ever.
Now that I have vented, I will reiterate my love of Facebook. I so enjoy my friends and the daily smiles they provide. If I have offended you with my dislikes, I cannot apologize. I feel that Facebook is meant to be a form of entertainment, and negativity does not entertain me; it irritates me. There are enough negative stories on the news every day. So be happy! Post joys and funny things your kids say. Post your pictures. Post positive quotes and what you ate for dinner. Let me know about the great movie you saw or where I can find a bargain. Brag on your kids. Brag on yourself!
Peace and Love and Happy Thoughts
At first it completely stressed me out. I would get friend requests and have to analyze them. Obviously, many were no brainers, but then there were those from people who never even acknowledged my existence, so I would have to wonder why they would suddenly want to be my friends. I decided that if someone cannot speak to me in public, I would ignore his or her request. I also had a friend who said to use the 'Walmart Rule'. If you would speak to someone at Walmart, you can be a friend. If you wouldn't speak to him or her, ignore it! That was solid FB advice in my book.
So, here I am, two years and a few hundred friends later, and Facebook still stresses me out on occasion. It can be such a wonderful and positive thing, but it can also be a source of frustration and anger. First, the positive. I am not from Tell City originally. I had many friends from Northern Indiana, specifically South Side Christian Church, with whom I had lost contact. Through Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with some of them, and it has been a complete joy. One woman, the mother of one of my childhood friends, posted some pictures of church activities, and those pictures included my sister, brother, and me. I was nearly in tears as I looked back at our years with our church family, and I realized that we had mattered. They kept pictures of us. Of course, I was also able to save some to my own computer so that I would have them to share with my children.
My family is literally spread out all over the United States We have been able to keep up with one another, and share in life's little ups and downs through Facebook. Because my father and his brothers all died young, I had lost track of three of my cousins. Once the Internet was available, I began searching for them. I knew that they had grown up in Florida, but was unable to find them. One day about five years ago, I searched again. I was able to locate their names, which led me to their mother's phone number, and once she believed I wasn't some psycho looking for her daughter, I was able to get my cousin's phone number. We met via telephone, and have maintained contact since. Once I joined Facebook, I was able to become friends with her and her brothers. I have gotten to know my cousins because of Facebook. I hope to have the opportunity to meet each of them face to face, but at least I have some contact with them. It has been amazing to read their posts, and to realize how much we have in common, despite not having grown up together.
I thoroughly enjoy seeing pictures of my friends' children, vacations, and adventures. I like the news updates from 14wfie, the positive quotes from Positively Positive, and the fitness advice from numerous running sites. I like the funny posts from some of my friends. I like that important information can be shared, and that when someone needs something, there is always someone willing to help. When my nephew died, the Facebook messages showed me that people cared about what we were going through. And who doesn't like the countless birthday wishes we receive?
So, what's not to like? A lot, actually. Over a year ago, there was a Facebook page that nearly tore our town apart. People can post anything, and others believe it to be gospel. I had seen so many lies posted, yet could say nothing. A couple of weeks ago, a parent posted about her now-grown daughter being bullied in high school. I knew that her child also bullied kids (I witnessed it), but because I taught my girls to handle their problems and did not call other parents, I could say nothing. Recently, a good friend of mine, who does not have Facebook, told me that she learned of some negative posts that referred to her, although no one used her name. It hurt her deeply because these people do not really know her. They base their opinions on comments and rumors they have heard. Is it right to post something about someone whom we don't even really know? Do people not realize that anything they post is out their for the world to see?
I am also bothered by parents who allude to problems their children are having with other kids. They don't mention names, but by simply posting, they are perpetuating the problem. They say they are tired of the drama, but when one posts on Facebook about being tired of the drama, he or she is just adding to the drama. If your child is having a problem, Lord knows they all do, talk with a friend; don't post to 500 friends. It just isn't the place for it.
My worst experience with Facebook was when a friend posted something extremely hateful about his ex-wife. The mother of his children. And he is friends on FB with his daughter, so she undoubtedly read the post. This was mean and uncalled for, and I immediately deleted him. I would never criticize my ex-husband, his family, my step-children's mother, or anyone else on Facebook. How can that be justified? It would just hurt someone I love. It isn't right. I have read posts from step-parents who constantly proclaim their love for their step-children (which I don't doubt), yet they then go on to publicly degrade the children's other parent. If you love a child, you do not criticize his or her parent on a social networking site. Ever.
Now that I have vented, I will reiterate my love of Facebook. I so enjoy my friends and the daily smiles they provide. If I have offended you with my dislikes, I cannot apologize. I feel that Facebook is meant to be a form of entertainment, and negativity does not entertain me; it irritates me. There are enough negative stories on the news every day. So be happy! Post joys and funny things your kids say. Post your pictures. Post positive quotes and what you ate for dinner. Let me know about the great movie you saw or where I can find a bargain. Brag on your kids. Brag on yourself!
Peace and Love and Happy Thoughts
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving in the Country
Have you noticed (especially you women who are reading) that preparation for Thanksgiving takes weeks, but within 30 minutes, everyone is finished eating? Our dinner was at our house this year, with 24 family members in attendance, and began about 1:00 pm. By 2:00, my sister-in-law began to straighten up the kitchen - until I said, "STOP!" I told her that after all of the time that we had put in, I was not going to start cleaning up so soon. We should embrace the mess.
My husband and I were very blessed this year. We had family from California, Virginia, and Kentucky here. Gary's son and daughter and their families were all here, as were his sisters, parents, nephew, and his new wife. My parents, sister, brother-in-law, brother, niece, and nephew were also here. However, only one of my daughters, Addison, was here this year. Morgan lives too far away to make the trip twice, and will be here for Christmas instead. Her dad and our daughter Bethany went to Louisiana to spend the holiday with Morgan, Kyle, and Layne. Though I was thrilled with all who were here, I still missed my girls. Our hope is that next year, all of our family will be here.
Gary and I had talked several months ago about doing a Thanksgiving morning run. I have run the past two years, but we wanted to get others to join us. At 7:45 a.m. we loaded up and headed to town. Tamara, Bryce, and Krista joined Gary and me for a run along the Ohio River on our new River Walk. It was a gorgeous morning, the temperature cool and the sky clear. It was the first time Gary and both of his children had run together. Tamara was able to run further than she had been running at home. It was an amazing way to start the day, and to enjoy God's magnificent landscape.
Not having grown up in the country, there are times I think I would still prefer to live in town - until weeks like this past one. Seeing Gary's kids and grandkids enjoying our home is priceless. His son kept a campfire going for three days, and people spent time near it catching up with one another and sharing stories from the past. We could hear their laughter all the way in the house. The kids were enthralled with the four-wheeler, or 'motor' as they called it. Molly loved getting out and exploring along the edge of the woods, all the time hoping to catch a glimpse of wildlife. After our meal, my sister-in-law and her husband took off on the gravel road to work off some of the food, and my sister and I followed, just to enjoy the beautiful day. Bryce, his girlfriend Krista, a nephew, and his wife all spent time splitting wood after dinner. Admittedly, I am somewhat of a wimp, and the thought of true manual labor is not my idea of making holiday memories, but they had a blast. They were making their own memories, and I suspect that they enjoyed every moment of that time.
Bryce and Krista arrived the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but the majority of our company arrived on Wednesday. Thirteen of us shared dinner Wednesday evening. Just as the pilgrims and Indians celebrated for three days, so did the Staths. I will not bore you with a listing of all of the food we consumed; my guess is that your own lists are rather lengthy! I will say that my best estimate is that we ate over 300 cookies Wednesday - Saturday. Really. I had baked about six different kinds, and had them in the freezer. Every time a tray was emptied, more cookies magically appeared. I can't even tell you the favorite because every single one was eaten. Needless to say, I am avoiding the scale today! There is one piece of pumpkin cake left, and one slice of banana bread. Those will be gone by the end of business today, and tomorrow we get back to healthier eating and regular exercise. And I will begin baking more cookies for Christmas!
I am very thankful for the laughter, love, and stories shared over the last week. I am thankful that Gary's family and my family were able to share the holiday together. I am thankful that I have a husband who is an excellent cook and can help out with the cooking (I have never even attempted making a turkey!). I am thankful that Morgan was able to cook her first Thanksgiving meal, and that her dad and sister were there with her. I am very thankful that I did not participate in any of that madness of Black Friday shopping! It just isn't worth it. We chose, instead, to visit the quaint shops in Tell City, which was very relaxing and enjoyable. There was little traffic and no one threatened me with pepper spray!
And now, I am thankful for a quiet day at home.
My husband and I were very blessed this year. We had family from California, Virginia, and Kentucky here. Gary's son and daughter and their families were all here, as were his sisters, parents, nephew, and his new wife. My parents, sister, brother-in-law, brother, niece, and nephew were also here. However, only one of my daughters, Addison, was here this year. Morgan lives too far away to make the trip twice, and will be here for Christmas instead. Her dad and our daughter Bethany went to Louisiana to spend the holiday with Morgan, Kyle, and Layne. Though I was thrilled with all who were here, I still missed my girls. Our hope is that next year, all of our family will be here.
Gary and I had talked several months ago about doing a Thanksgiving morning run. I have run the past two years, but we wanted to get others to join us. At 7:45 a.m. we loaded up and headed to town. Tamara, Bryce, and Krista joined Gary and me for a run along the Ohio River on our new River Walk. It was a gorgeous morning, the temperature cool and the sky clear. It was the first time Gary and both of his children had run together. Tamara was able to run further than she had been running at home. It was an amazing way to start the day, and to enjoy God's magnificent landscape.
Not having grown up in the country, there are times I think I would still prefer to live in town - until weeks like this past one. Seeing Gary's kids and grandkids enjoying our home is priceless. His son kept a campfire going for three days, and people spent time near it catching up with one another and sharing stories from the past. We could hear their laughter all the way in the house. The kids were enthralled with the four-wheeler, or 'motor' as they called it. Molly loved getting out and exploring along the edge of the woods, all the time hoping to catch a glimpse of wildlife. After our meal, my sister-in-law and her husband took off on the gravel road to work off some of the food, and my sister and I followed, just to enjoy the beautiful day. Bryce, his girlfriend Krista, a nephew, and his wife all spent time splitting wood after dinner. Admittedly, I am somewhat of a wimp, and the thought of true manual labor is not my idea of making holiday memories, but they had a blast. They were making their own memories, and I suspect that they enjoyed every moment of that time.
Bryce and Krista arrived the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but the majority of our company arrived on Wednesday. Thirteen of us shared dinner Wednesday evening. Just as the pilgrims and Indians celebrated for three days, so did the Staths. I will not bore you with a listing of all of the food we consumed; my guess is that your own lists are rather lengthy! I will say that my best estimate is that we ate over 300 cookies Wednesday - Saturday. Really. I had baked about six different kinds, and had them in the freezer. Every time a tray was emptied, more cookies magically appeared. I can't even tell you the favorite because every single one was eaten. Needless to say, I am avoiding the scale today! There is one piece of pumpkin cake left, and one slice of banana bread. Those will be gone by the end of business today, and tomorrow we get back to healthier eating and regular exercise. And I will begin baking more cookies for Christmas!
I am very thankful for the laughter, love, and stories shared over the last week. I am thankful that Gary's family and my family were able to share the holiday together. I am thankful that I have a husband who is an excellent cook and can help out with the cooking (I have never even attempted making a turkey!). I am thankful that Morgan was able to cook her first Thanksgiving meal, and that her dad and sister were there with her. I am very thankful that I did not participate in any of that madness of Black Friday shopping! It just isn't worth it. We chose, instead, to visit the quaint shops in Tell City, which was very relaxing and enjoyable. There was little traffic and no one threatened me with pepper spray!
And now, I am thankful for a quiet day at home.
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