Facebook. Most of us use this form of social media; others choose to avoid getting involved. I avoided it for the first year of so because I was taking grad school courses online, and I felt that I spent more than enough time chatting with classmates online. Once I finished my degree, I decided to give it a try. Needless to say, I was quickly and unexpectedly reeled in.
At first it completely stressed me out. I would get friend requests and have to analyze them. Obviously, many were no brainers, but then there were those from people who never even acknowledged my existence, so I would have to wonder why they would suddenly want to be my friends. I decided that if someone cannot speak to me in public, I would ignore his or her request. I also had a friend who said to use the 'Walmart Rule'. If you would speak to someone at Walmart, you can be a friend. If you wouldn't speak to him or her, ignore it! That was solid FB advice in my book.
So, here I am, two years and a few hundred friends later, and Facebook still stresses me out on occasion. It can be such a wonderful and positive thing, but it can also be a source of frustration and anger. First, the positive. I am not from Tell City originally. I had many friends from Northern Indiana, specifically South Side Christian Church, with whom I had lost contact. Through Facebook, I have been able to reconnect with some of them, and it has been a complete joy. One woman, the mother of one of my childhood friends, posted some pictures of church activities, and those pictures included my sister, brother, and me. I was nearly in tears as I looked back at our years with our church family, and I realized that we had mattered. They kept pictures of us. Of course, I was also able to save some to my own computer so that I would have them to share with my children.
My family is literally spread out all over the United States We have been able to keep up with one another, and share in life's little ups and downs through Facebook. Because my father and his brothers all died young, I had lost track of three of my cousins. Once the Internet was available, I began searching for them. I knew that they had grown up in Florida, but was unable to find them. One day about five years ago, I searched again. I was able to locate their names, which led me to their mother's phone number, and once she believed I wasn't some psycho looking for her daughter, I was able to get my cousin's phone number. We met via telephone, and have maintained contact since. Once I joined Facebook, I was able to become friends with her and her brothers. I have gotten to know my cousins because of Facebook. I hope to have the opportunity to meet each of them face to face, but at least I have some contact with them. It has been amazing to read their posts, and to realize how much we have in common, despite not having grown up together.
I thoroughly enjoy seeing pictures of my friends' children, vacations, and adventures. I like the news updates from 14wfie, the positive quotes from Positively Positive, and the fitness advice from numerous running sites. I like the funny posts from some of my friends. I like that important information can be shared, and that when someone needs something, there is always someone willing to help. When my nephew died, the Facebook messages showed me that people cared about what we were going through. And who doesn't like the countless birthday wishes we receive?
So, what's not to like? A lot, actually. Over a year ago, there was a Facebook page that nearly tore our town apart. People can post anything, and others believe it to be gospel. I had seen so many lies posted, yet could say nothing. A couple of weeks ago, a parent posted about her now-grown daughter being bullied in high school. I knew that her child also bullied kids (I witnessed it), but because I taught my girls to handle their problems and did not call other parents, I could say nothing. Recently, a good friend of mine, who does not have Facebook, told me that she learned of some negative posts that referred to her, although no one used her name. It hurt her deeply because these people do not really know her. They base their opinions on comments and rumors they have heard. Is it right to post something about someone whom we don't even really know? Do people not realize that anything they post is out their for the world to see?
I am also bothered by parents who allude to problems their children are having with other kids. They don't mention names, but by simply posting, they are perpetuating the problem. They say they are tired of the drama, but when one posts on Facebook about being tired of the drama, he or she is just adding to the drama. If your child is having a problem, Lord knows they all do, talk with a friend; don't post to 500 friends. It just isn't the place for it.
My worst experience with Facebook was when a friend posted something extremely hateful about his ex-wife. The mother of his children. And he is friends on FB with his daughter, so she undoubtedly read the post. This was mean and uncalled for, and I immediately deleted him. I would never criticize my ex-husband, his family, my step-children's mother, or anyone else on Facebook. How can that be justified? It would just hurt someone I love. It isn't right. I have read posts from step-parents who constantly proclaim their love for their step-children (which I don't doubt), yet they then go on to publicly degrade the children's other parent. If you love a child, you do not criticize his or her parent on a social networking site. Ever.
Now that I have vented, I will reiterate my love of Facebook. I so enjoy my friends and the daily smiles they provide. If I have offended you with my dislikes, I cannot apologize. I feel that Facebook is meant to be a form of entertainment, and negativity does not entertain me; it irritates me. There are enough negative stories on the news every day. So be happy! Post joys and funny things your kids say. Post your pictures. Post positive quotes and what you ate for dinner. Let me know about the great movie you saw or where I can find a bargain. Brag on your kids. Brag on yourself!
Peace and Love and Happy Thoughts
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